Mama C Calls It Forth

Recently I went away to one of my favorite places in the world (so far) for a weekend with a single-mama friend to meditate, write, swim, laugh, and listen to God.

I connect to my visionary spirit, and my soul in this healing spot that I’ve been coming to since I was seven. When I get quiet, and a respite from my parenting modality I return in a palpable way to what I know to be true.

This time that truth cleary took shape in three distinct areas:

  • First is a deepening commitment to my sons feeling celebrated and accepted for exactly WHO THEY ARE today. (Middle school requires ferverent monitoring. Who are you-vs. who do you begin to believe your peers/teachers/ society or family says you SHOULD be.) This demands my being fully present, compassionate and flexible.
  • Second I heard that I will return to my dream of creating a one woman performative event (monologue/story telling+poetry) celebrating and exposing my first fifty years on the planet, and the events and people who shaped it.
  • Third, a new direction calls for my fifteen years as a transracial adoptive, biological, single and partnered parent. I will be unveilling this in more detail soon, but for the time-being it is already thrilling to announce it simply as a “Coming soon: Mama C Coaching and Consulting”. How can you help? If a particular post, conversation, article, or anything “Mama C” has been of help to you on your transracial/adoptive single or partnered/parenting/blending/ donor or other journey will you consider leaving me a comment I could use on my promotional materials?

I look forward to hearing from you, and hope everyone can create a little quiet space for themselves in the near future.

Round and round, round, round, round, round round round.

I was looking over the pictures from the week, and noticed that there was something round about all of them. Perhaps it was the approaching supermoon last night, or just the way I am seeing the world today. In the “first at bat” photo, the round is hidden under our amazingly patient coach’s hand. Can you find them all?

We are doing beautifully today. After cooking us the most amazing biscuit and egg breakfast,  Shrek is off playing baseball with the lads, so I can blog exercise. We have been doing some huge relationship growth stuff, and with that comes some big excitement about future collaborations… The coolest part? I am fully in this, and not freaking out about any of it. As he and I consider future plans, and progress I am feeling more and more confident and present in this relationship. How did that shift happen?

Life is magically full. To keeping it light and loving today. Enjoy your week, hope it is full of your own Supermoons!

On workshops, suitcases, and holding on

The workshop that I presented; “I can talk about race in the classroom” was by all accounts a big success today. The post workshop reflections were 95% positive–which says as much about the audience as the presenter really. The educators were open, willing, and very present! I was prepared, passionate, and speaking from a place of truth. That is always a great combination. I’ll try to write more about the experience, and the work, when time allows. But the suitcases are trumping the keyboard here. Continue reading “On workshops, suitcases, and holding on”

things I love about you

Cupid from the archives

Dear Sam,

Here are the first five things that come to my mind that I cherish and adore about you:

1. How you take in so much more than you let on-your depth.

2. How you can complement a friend’s artwork, seconds after they have insulted yours-your generosity.

3. The way every cell in your body works together when a baseball is coming towards you from the mound-your physical intelligence.

4. Your willingness to do something new-your adventuresome spirit.

5. Your forehead under my palm when we cuddle-how you receive love.

Cupid #2-from the archives

Dear Marcel,

Here are the first five things that come to my mind that I cherish and adore about you:

1. How you share whatever is on your mind-your truth.

2. How your hard mood can change so easily with a hug, or an “uppy”-your willingness to let go.

3. The questions. The constant questions-your search for meaning.

4. When you touch me on the nose and say; “I see sunshine right here”-your affection.

5. The way the world revolves around Sam, and then all of your people-your capacity for love.

++++

I am so ridiculously blessed to share this lifetime with you both.

Always, Mama

Classic Mama C and the Boys from the archives

And to all of my readers–thank you for all the love you share with us–the ways you hold and care for us–and the space you create for all of this to happen. To those of you who are waiting for the love (s) you will soon shower your adoration upon–I wish you ease and a moment of peace, that all is exactly as it is meant to be and it will unfold beautifully as it is meant to.

Feeling it (singing and spitting included)

We had one of the nicest days yesterday. Our sitter invited us to her church to hear her and her three brothers play in the chorus/band. Her church is maybe 65% Rwandan (where she is from) and 25% neighborhood Mainers and then the rest of the folk. The minister is Hispanic. The chorus is all high school and college age Rwandan boys belting out their joy, along with two young women. My sitter’s father is the co-preacher–who misinters in his language-Kinyarwanda. The other minister has his sermon translated into Kinyarwanda by one of the young men. The songs were in English and Spanish.  We felt totally welcomed and not judged. We blended in with so much ease. There were several Black families there, who I imagine would identify as African American. Many of them had at least one white family member. After the service the boys gravitated towards my boys, and invited them up to jam. Today we talked about our experience there in terms of Dr. King’s legacy of peace and brotherhood. Continue reading “Feeling it (singing and spitting included)”

A magical 36

After that big week, the family was due a little Maine magic. Although there was no “real” snow, we were able to check one of Sam’s bucket list items off in grand fashion this weekend–his first snowboarding lesson. As a way of getting more folks interested in the sport, “Free Snowboarding Week” was introduced. A friend managed to snag Sam this two hour lesson, complete with gear and lift ticket for free. We just had to get there. And get there we did!  When I stopped thinking about the fact that we were probably one of the only mixed race families to stay at this amazing old Camden Inn  (could you please stop starring at US?!?) I could accept that the boys loved having the pool to themselves and found my way to this very restful and joyful place too. Continue reading “A magical 36”

An end of the year ache-and a call for wisdom from first/birth parents

The decision to go visit and then not visit Sam’s first family last summer, is one I am working through today.

We’re all still working out way through this one. Perhaps the hardest part for me is the not knowing how this impacted Tea*, and her relationship with him. I sense she may still feel angry at me–hurt–frustrated? I did not tend to our relationship in the aftermath in the way I should have. I retreated so hard and so fast after it happened, because I felt like I had done something so wrong–publicly and privately by putting so much energy into that trip. And, although I am certain (because of things I have chosen not to talk about here-those moments in our childrens lives we must protect) that I made the right choice for Sammy**-I sense I made a very wrong choice for her and her other kids, and her parents.  All of this wondering is coming up for me so hard because for the first year in Sam’s life we have not heard from her at his birthday or Christmas. Everyday I race to the mailbox and feel my heart sink when there is nothing there. Continue reading “An end of the year ache-and a call for wisdom from first/birth parents”

Mama C Safe Space Radio: A forum for Courageous Conversations

Although I haven’t listened to it yet (something about listening to my own voice on the radio..) I wanted to pass along the link to the interview with me on Safe Space Radio “a live forum for courageous conversations”  last week. The topic: inter-racial adoption.  Here is the summary from Dr. Anne-the show’s host:

An interview with public school teacher, poet and blogger, Catherine Anderson about adopting her son Sam. Catherine describes her decision to adopt and how she thought she understood racism before parenting. She describes her experience of those “grocery store moments”  when she has to respond to other people’s surprise and inappropriate comments in front of her son.  She speaks movingly about her relationship with Sam’s birth mom and how strong the pull is to keep proving to her that she is doing a good job.  She describes the ways that she talks to Sam about race, and the ways that she, as a white woman, feels she can and cannot prepare him to be a black man in Maine.  Catherine reads her beautiful poem, Black Enough to open and close the interview.

It was a hard interview for me going into it, because I knew that I was offering myself up as the slide for the transracial parenting race related microscope-something I am more and more comfortable doing for the most part. I remember wondering afterwords “was there any content in that half hour?” But in retrospect that is because I was evaluating my own story as story teller as a memory in the setting of microphones, engineers and a powerhouse of a host.  My goal was to put myself out there in a way that might allow someone else to do the same, in their own journey. Enjoy my interview with Dr. Anne.  When I have the ability to listen to it, I’ll come back and offer a little more meat to what it feels like to me to hear the exchange. In the meantime, I’d love to hear from you–because that is who I was talking to.