Donor reveal?

Marcel at two weeks

Marcel has seen a picture of his donor.

I could write about 10,000 words here, but I’m not ready to. I just want my readers to know that this book just got better. His donor is a real person. His donor has a face. Marcel named him too. He named him: Tree.

His most important question? Does he like ice cream and cheese too?

And, Do baby whales have donors or daddies? Of course that was followed by-Is my donor a daddy? How did you handle that Mama C? It went something like this; “Just like Sammy has a birth father who helped bring him into the world, you have a donor who helped create you. A donor is not a daddy. A donor is like a birth father…

That night he came running into a family gathering asking if they wanted to see a picture of his donor?

His grandfather thought he said donut.

Of course this prompted a very important discussion with my family later that night. As soon as the boys were in bed, I joined my family in the other room, and told them that I had some very important information to share with them about Marcel. Information that I needed them to hear at this very instant.  I knew that Marcel’s joy in his new discovery depended on everyone’s ability to share and celebrate with him.

A discussion that for four years has been just underneath my skin at all times.  A story that I have not known how to tell my family, to share here on the blog, or to my most trusted friends. When Marcel was a baby, I could keep the story inside, or so I thought. It seemed so simple at first…

Then Marcel needed more and more information, and I knew the time had come to look inside my heart, my understanding of our agreement, and to decide how and when and how much to reveal.  I can tell you that the word “known” is now formally attached to the word “donor” in our lexicon. I can tell you that Marcel understands that bringing him into the world was a decision that two people made with intention and love. I can tell you that he grew two inches the moment he held that picture in his hand, and I became about five tons lighter.

In the interest of transparency in the new year, and the absence of secrets it feels so empowering to share that Marcel has some new information which allowa him to land more firmly in his own story of who he is. More to come…