If I could I would (poem)

If I could I would

Turn myself into a barn swallow
swooping, diving, and gliding
with ease-speed-grace
between the highs and lows

Unencumbered by words
that never appeared on a screen
or fears manifested beyond
the barnyard cat

My fragility then sealed within
the delicate space marrying my
feathers tethered to my trussed bones
and not in this clunky worn tough heart

If I could I would
turn myself into a barn swallow
racing with ease-speed-grace
to my strong love turned safely
into a warm and familiar nest.


This poem I wrote to Shrek a few weeks ago after a rough spot that started when I said something, or he said something, or I didn’t say something or he didn’t say something the other wanted or needed to read on a text message of all things. Since then I believe we’ve committed to NEVER using a text screen to process a tough moment. Then we did it at least two more times. We like to research what doesn’t work over and over again sometimes.

Yesterday we interviewed our first couples therapist. Not because we are in crisis. Quite the opposite. Because between our seven kids, and over 100 years of living we’ve accumulated some material we might need some help navigating on occasion. Blending these families, and the two of our independent life styles, and all of our expectations and needs and hopes and fears feels a little like arriving at a construction site for a luxury hotel and all of us brought our own building material, architects, time lines, and safety concerns. Marcel is probably picturing a knight’s castle, and Sam is all ready to build an Olympic stadium. How about you? Have you ever gone to couples counseling? Are you considering it? Did it help? How about a little poll to spice things up here on Mama C today? If you are not in a couple–you could answer in terms of individual or family therapy too.

Oh so brave (a post from all four of us)

Because of how brave Ruby was…

I hate getting on planes. I’m going to be brave today, by getting on that plane. This made me think about the picture (above) that I took earlier this week of Marcel superimposed next to the famous Rockwell of Ruby Bridges. I explained to him how brave she was over fifty years ago, to go into a school where she was the first brown skin student “invited” to study. (I framed it in terms of how brown skin kids did not have the same choices about where to go to school as creamy colored kids did. ) So today in honor of Memorial Day, and our trip in a few hours to Washington, DC, the Martin Luther King Memorial,  the Lincoln Memorial, the Air and Space and our walk by President Obama’s house.. I thought I’d ask my family, and you what it means to you to be brave today. Continue reading “Oh so brave (a post from all four of us)”

Flowers for Ganesh: the remover of obstacles

Before a blind date the other day, I found myself in a store that celebrates (or pillages depending on your point of view), artifacts, furniture, jewelry and the like from the continent of Asia. It is there where I became enamored with this particular statue of Ganesh. He is from Bangladesh, and made out of basalt which allowed for the finer details that drew me towards him. Continue reading “Flowers for Ganesh: the remover of obstacles”