Have a little question? Or a big idea?

Inquiries, requests, podcast and  blog invitations, or offers to appear here

will all be dutifully considered and responded to promptly.

Email me at: mamacandtheboys at gmail dot com


  1. Dear Mama C,

    I really like your blog and your book concept and what I know about your interesting family. I am a contributing author for the Chicago Moms blog, part of the SV Moms Group of 11 regional blogs in the US and Canada. I recently heard that some of the regional blogs are looking for new contributors. Not sure where you live, but I think your voice would be a good addition to the group. No pay, but lots of click throughs to your own blog and plenty of good writers and readers. Email me if you are interested.

    2kopeople at gmail dot com

  2. Hi Mama C–

    I have written offline before but I wanted to write now.
    I keep writing when I am too tired to write—but I love the new blog. It is gorgeous and inspiring. Your work has completely inspired me and (I think) I am finally soon to set up/ launch my own blog—similar to yours but so different because well, because I am me and not you– but of course that is all good, a you and a me and our children and many, many others. I hope to blog about adoption, racism—and ending racism, transracial parenting, parenting at all, girls and sexism, writing, reading, and doing right in this difficult but so interesting world we live in. Because your new blog has such a good list of your previously published work, I did figure out that I first learned about the blog via your piece in Adoptive Families Magazine in fall ’09.

    I’m an avid reader of AF Magazine, this blog and many others– and look forward to reading more and more of your writing. Laura–

    • Laura-your comment is an honor to read! Thank you for letting me know–and please let me publish a link to your blog here when it is up and running. I would love to share the work you are doing!

  3. Hello Mama C,
    I have read you on AF family circle and in the magazine. I also was moved to respond to one of your blogs on AF’s Family Circle. You have been my first door to this wide world of people speaking up honestly about transracial adoption/parenting and all it entails. Thank you hundreds of times over. As parents there are so many things we worry about with our kids, how his handsome brown skin and lovely dark hair will effect how other people treat him is one of my grandest concerns. Keep writing, you have touched many with your words.

  4. Hi-

    We belong to the Rainbow Connection group as well and I stumbled across your blog and poem “Black Enough” a few months ago. As a caucasian mother of a bi-racial daughter and black son it really hit home with me and made me start to think about some of the situations that we encounter as a family and how I handle those situations. Until recently, I felt it was my obligation to explain why our family looks “different” from other families, why my husband and I have children that don’t look like us. I was concerned about how other people were feeling, concerned that they might be wondering if I was “black enough” to be their mother, concerned that they needed an explanation to make them feel “comfortable” with our situation. Last week, your poem came flashing across my mind as I sat in Cordell’s with my son. Someone finally asked what everyone else was thinking, “Is he your son?” For the first time in the nearly 2 years of his life and the hundreds of times this question has been asked before, I answered with a simple, “YES”. For the first time, I didn’t add in the standard, “Yes, he is my son. He was adopted at birth…yada, yada, yada”. I said “YES” and just waited, waited for the questions that I knew were swirling through everyone’s minds, wondering if everyone was “comfortable” with my answer. But, no questions followed….at least not out loud. As those around us took a second glance, I wanted to blurt out my standardized answer, wanted everyone to feel “comfortable” with us. But, I didn’t, I just glanced down at the black shirt I was wearing (so much truth in your poem!). It has finally occurred to me that it isn’t my job to make those around us “comfortable”, it is my job to make my family “comfortable” and as uncomfortable as that can be for me, I’m going to keep doing it.

    Thank you for your great writings!


  5. Catherine,

    Just read your article in the June issue of Adoptive Families 🙂 As an African-American man, a father of an adopted son (private adoption), and a father whose family is now waiting to be matched via the fost/adopt program in our state your article spoke to me on SO many levels! The smells, the sounds, and the laughter that your son Sam has gotten (and will continue to get) at the neighborhood barbershop (as well as many other things you are probably doing) are going to affect him in so many ways for his entire life. Only wish others who pursue inter-racial /trans-racial adoptions were as proactive as you. You go girl!!!!! 🙂


  6. I also just read your article in Adoptive families. I’ve been thinking for a while that I want to find an AA barber for my Ethiopian son who is almost two. I just havent’ seemed to run into someone who could direct me to someone in particular. Your article reconfirmed how beneficial this kind of relationship could be for my son. As it happens just this morning I was at our local childrens museum and I started talking to a mom who happens to be from Ethiopia! (She asked if my son is Ethiopian.) Not only does she live quite close to me and has a little girl almost the same age as my son so we are going to get together for a play date. Yeah! I’m not good (yet) at making the most of these kinds of meetings. When she first talked to me it was brief and she went in their own direction. I very quickly started thinking you should find her and talk to her, these are the kind of connections we need in our lives. So I found her in another part of the museum and struck up a conversation, hopefully I’ll get better at this and strike a little sooner. It’s happened in the supermarket a couple of times and it just gets by me, I find myself thinking “that was on opportunity missed.” Anyway back to the barber, I asked her if she could recommend someone and she introduced me to here husband and he gave me the name and number of the man that does her sons hair. Perfect! I can’t wait to contact him.

    I’m learning.


    • What a GREAT message to come home to. You are inspiring to me–that you pushed yourself to make the connection, and notice what is hard for you, but doing it anyway! I think you should write about that experience and send it to Adoptive Families! Stay in touch! And, if you are a facebook person join my “fan” page their and share your experiences, and connect there too! (just search Mama C and the Boys) and all you have to do is click the “like it” button and you’re there! I mention it because I am hoping to get more people “talking” there too.

  7. hi there!
    i came across your blog through some other blog that i frequent and it feels very synchronistic that i found you at this time. i’ve known for a while that being a parent and having a family is really what i want out of life (i’m also a performance poet and am halfway through massage school). i had been convinced that i’d be doing it alone, until i met my girlfriend almost two years ago. i thought i’d start with a pregnancy first and then follow up later with an adoption but lately everything points to adoption, and multiracial at that. i’d like to know if there is anything that really helped you to make the decisions that took you on this path (websites, articles, books, organizations) or links to what you’ve already written about this so that you don’t have to repeat yourself. thanks for sharing your story and i really appreciate any wisdom that you can impart on me!

  8. Hi Mama C,
    I just wanted to let you know that I enjoy reading your posts. This is the 1st time I’ve ever written to someone in this format… yeah for firsts!
    So many of your thoughts are feelings I have had. Your recent post “Good Grief” is an example of the random, vague, and time consuming thoughts I have too. Our baby doll is 10-months old (she’s Jamaican) and we are white. She is the biggest blessing to so many and the weight of ‘doing/saying’ the right thing sometimes overwhelms me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for having the courage to share your random & time consuming thoughts.

  9. Hi Mama C,
    I know you’ve been to my mommy blog @ but I wanted to let you know of my new vision @, celebrating and supporting diversity in families, churches, and communities. It’s barely even off the ground, just started it a few weeks ago, but I’m still eager to have you stop by and take a look. I respect what you do here so much and definitely feel connected to you on a mommy level…keep up the great work! I can’t wait to read what’s next with you and the boys 🙂

  10. I am sorry but your comments towards the Pirates are awful. You shouldve known there would be fights. End of story.

  11. Hi Mama C,
    A week or so ago you left a question regarding the Breadwinning Broads anthology ( that I’m putting together. In answer your questions, I would love to hear from single moms and breadwinners in lesbian relationships. In fact, I’ve heard from a few women in same-sex relationships already.
    Thanks for your questions.
    And, thanks for leading me to your website. Beautiful.

  12. Mama C,
    I love your blog & site!!! I would love to link some of your blogs to my site ( with your permision. We are an online community for biracial individuals, couples, and families. We have members with similar stories to yours (one of my friends in particular). I invite you to check out and let me know what you think. I would love to message you privately and ask you a few questions if you have time.

  13. Hi there Mama C,

    I love your writing! I am a new subscriber, and a new blogger on the theme of adoption. My blog,, is about the experience of the adoptee in long-standing reunions (mine has been 22 years and counting). I’m hoping that it will be a multi-authored blog that captures all the diverse experiences that are out there.

    I was wondering if you are still running the “Adoption Constellation” subscription contest? If so, I just subscribed, so would love to be in it. Also, I would love to post it on my blog but not sure if it’s still running since it had mentioned May 1st – or thereabouts.


    • Cathy,

      Thanks for this comment (it got hidden over in a weird folder–not sure how that happened). I’m sorry that the contest is over–but hope you decide to support the Adoption Constellation anyhow! It is so worth it–every dime! I look forward to checking out your work too. Thanks for the comment.

  14. Hi there,
    I got to meet you recently at a party at S’s house…I just wanted to take a minute to let you know what a good time I had hanging with your boys. Thanks for sharing your lives through your words. It makes my heart happy.

    Be Well,

  15. It’s been wonderful reading your blog, and have it as a link on my blog because I think that people who are reading about my experiences will gain a lot from yours as well

    I have been writing a blog about being an adoptee in reunion over a long-period (over twenty years). I find that being in reunion over the long-haul brings up interesting and unique challenges. In addition, my birthmother also writes a blog. We write separately, but in unison – we choose the topics we are going to write on and then post them at around the same time. It allows the reader to get both the birthmother and the adoptee perspective on the same issues (family, parenting, holidays, naming things, etc). As an extra element, we don’t read each other’s work. We want to be able to keep our perspectives uninfluenced by the other.

    My blog (as an adoptee in reunion over a long-period) is
    My birthmother’s blog is

    Let me know if you have any interest in posting a link to our blogs or think it would be relevant. Originally, I had hoped and intended for my blog to be an interactive space for adoptees in reunion, who have been in reunion for a long-time, could share their experiences, so I would love to get the word out!

  16. Dear Mama C and the Boys (Catherine)–

    I tried to figure out how to personal message you on this blog or on your Facebook page, but was unsuccessful. I guess I’ll post my message here…

    My name is Pat Verducci and I’m the Co-Producer of the feature documentary film SOMEWHERE BETWEEN. I wondered if you might be interested in blogging about our film. The movie is about four teenaged girls adopted from China and living in the U.S. For three years we followed the girls on their quest to better understand their identity. The film has won many awards, including the Audience Award at the Hot Docs Film Festival in Toronto, and most recently, was selected for Sundance’s Film Forward Program. For that, the director, Linda Goldstein Knowlton, just traveled to India with Sundance and showed the film to enthusiastic audiences.

    We are in the last stages of raising money to release the movie theatrically in the U.S. and hoped you would check out our Kickstarter page. You can watch Linda talk about the film, see our trailer and find out more about our domestic release campaign here:

    Linda is herself the mother of a girl adopted from China (Ruby!) and we’ve had many adoptive parents at film festivals tell us that SOMEWHERE BETWEEN has changed their understanding of the issues their children will face (especially as teenagers.) We’ve also had many people who are adopted endorse the film. Here’s a note from one of them…

    Hi there.

    I imagine you receive many messages so I hope that this one reaches you! I saw your amazing film when it was in the Milwaukee, WI film festival last fall. As an adult transracial adoptee and adoption professional, it blew my mind. I commented under your review section that it was the most comprehensive and well-built documentary representing the adoptee perspective. The beauty of this project is that it can be applied to many different ethnic/racial adoptees. KUDOS!

    Again, here’s a cut and paste link to our Kickstarter page, where people can pledge to help us distribute the movie.

    Please check it out, and if you can, PLEASE, spread the info to your networks! We need your help to get this film to more adoptive parents and children in the U.S.

    If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to contact me.

    Thanks so much!

    Pat Verducci
    Co Producer

  17. I recently compiled a list of single foster and adoption blogs on my blog. From the comments, I realized I wanted to do more to connect people who’ve decided to jump into the deep end of fostering and adopting without a partner. This ( is my attempt to do that. So, my hope for this blog is to be so much more than a blog, I want it to become a large support network for single Mamma’s and Daddies all over the place.

    Please check it out and let me know if you’d like to be involved. 🙂

  18. Catherine,
    Thank you for coming to speak to our Multicultural Counseling class at USM last night. You boys are adorable and your passion for the subject comes through! I appreciated your candor and self-disclosure about your own foibles as you navigate this subject. Keep talking and keep sharing!

    I would like to talk with you about a Board I am on and your subject of interest. I’ll email you directly.
    Terri DeCoster

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