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Back Story

We are a family of three. We came together through domestic infant adoption, when Sam, my oldest was one day old, six years ago. We have an open adoption with his birth mother, Tea, a pseudonym. She is African American. So is he. I am white.

We also came together through known donor assisted conception. The donor I chose was African American- he looked like Sam as a child. Marcel is biracial and was conceived on the first try.

Soon after I gave birth I remember thinking how proud the birth mother would be of how much weight Marcel was gaining. Then I remembered that I was the birth mother.

I chose to bring both of my children into my life as a single parent. Our family and friendship support network is invincible and omni-present. My oldest brother, referred to here as Uncle, lives upstairs from us now (as of 8/2010) in the second apartment in my three family home.

This blog is devoted to issues of transracial adoptive families, multi racial families by birth and adoption, donor relationships, single parenting, racial awareness, story telling, self observation and how all of these become part of the writing life.

I write about our bravos and our blunders believing that they might serve some greater purpose then just me banging my head against the wall saying, what were you thinking?!

17 Comments leave one →
  1. January 23, 2010 1:25 pm

    Im excited to meet you and read about your family 🙂

  2. January 26, 2010 3:41 am

    Hello, I’m pleased to meet you and follow the fun and folly as it unfolds. (That was a mouthful!)

  3. February 19, 2010 4:01 am

    Um, so can you put all your blog posts together in a book so I can take it with me to read it? Pretty please? My laptop is huge and I don’t care much for reading details from my Blackberry! What an interesting story you have here! An open adoption of a handsome brown boy who dons a serious you-know-you-can’t-help-but-love-me smile, and a biracial cutie with big beautiful curls that make me want to reach through the screen and play in them!

    I need more details on the day-to-day, but my computer is mostly for my work, so I’ll just wait patiently for your book to get published…LOL!!

    Great to e-meet you, Mama C!

  4. Shiela VanDerveer permalink
    April 2, 2010 6:17 am

    Oh Cat! I love you so much and i’m welling with tears reading just this bit. thank you!!!!!!!!!

  5. She Started It permalink
    April 20, 2010 1:04 am

    So in love with your story! What a beautiful family you have. I’ll be back often!

  6. August 24, 2010 9:01 pm

    What a beautiful story, and what a precious family! I love your site and found my way to Moms of Hue through you as well. I just added the link for both of those to my blog. I hope you’ll find the time to come by and meet my family as well. Keep in touch.

  7. Erica King permalink
    November 1, 2010 9:27 pm

    Mamma C,

    It was such a treat to meet you at Local Sprouts on Saturday. Deb just emailed me your blog. I look forward to checking it out and hope that our transracial lives continue to weave together in the future. I welcome the next opportunity.

    With love,
    Erica

  8. December 19, 2010 4:19 pm

    Very interesting. Love the photos, love the stories.

  9. April 3, 2012 1:13 pm

    Great photo of you and the kids. Great energy!

  10. April 3, 2012 1:14 pm

    Great Photo, great energy, looking good.

  11. April 26, 2012 2:59 pm

    Awesome story! I always admire those that adopt the children right here in our country, you was able to see that there is no need to adopt internationally when there are a ton of children right here in the U.S. that need a loving family. THANK YOU! Your children are truly blessed 😉

  12. June 1, 2012 4:20 pm

    Hiya, Lady!

    I have nominated you for The Very Inspiring Blog Award because your blog inspires me!

    If you choose to accept this award, the requirements look like this:

    1. Display the award logo somewhere on the blog.
    (image: http://smirkpretty.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/very-inspiring-blogger-award.jpg)
    2. Link back to the blog of the person who nominated you.
    3. State seven things about yourself.
    4. Nominate 15 other bloggers for the award and provide links to their blogs.
    5. Notify those bloggers that they have been nominated and of the award’s requirements.

    Your writing keeps me looking up. Thank you!
    Shannon

  13. Amy permalink
    June 22, 2013 2:27 pm

    I am glad I found your blog. My husband and I are the parents of two awesome African American sons, adopted from the foster care system as toddlers-now both 12!

  14. July 26, 2013 1:19 pm

    Your family is beautiful! I can feel the happiness in your smiles.

  15. February 7, 2014 11:15 pm

    I’m a 28 year old teacher and am looking to make the same plunge you made. I’ve seen a lot of “signs” lately that adoption is my route to starting my family right now and feel that I have a lot of love to share and that I’m ready to share it. While this is a big change to make for my life, I am not worried about that; those changes I know I am ready for. What I am not so sure about is HOW to achieve this change. Can you offer some insight? How do I adopt without spending all my hard-earned money I’d like to use on my new baby on getting that new baby? Any advice you can offer?

    Thanks! Much love to you and your beautiful family!

  16. River permalink
    January 13, 2015 7:57 pm

    Hello 🙂 my name is River. A while ago I found you blog and ever since have known for sure that I wanted to adopt a child someday when I am ready, regardless of whether I am single or in a relationship. Currently, I’m 24 and working towards my master’s degree. I admire your sweet and beautiful family so much! Thank you for writing your blog!

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