Sunday, while we were waiting for Sam’s soccer game to start I snapped this.
Last night before bed, I remembered I had taken some pictures, and grabbed the phone.
I was stopped in my tracks with this shot.
I see how much he takes up the frame, literally, figuratively. How I am off to the side. How this is such an apt metaphor for me today.
Sidelines as a parent. Sideline parenting, verses being on the field all the time. Sidelines are not something I’ve been very good at most of my life.(I mostly played striker, and center half for the eighteen some years I called myself a soccer player.) But today, I am finding my way over there, and think it’s probably more and more where I belong, if I did my job well for the first few years of their life.
The field of race, and how I can not be on the sidelines. How parenting in the hue is all I know. How I feel like I have to be the ref, the coach, and want to hand pick all the players on everyone’s team all the time. How I am always looking for better coaches.
I feel like I am on the sidelines of myself right now a little bit too. It’s not a comfortable place, but it is where I find myself in this shift back to full time everything. In what areas do you see yourself shifting from the field to the fans? From the playing ground to the observation deck? Are you comfortable there? What does the metaphor mean to you?
In case you were hoping for some real content today–I’m pleased to direct you over to Butter Street.com for a post called “Courting Africa“. Here is the opening paragraph:
I find myself trying to “court” people. I have a new co worker and when he comes into the room other people tell me I light up. I sparkle. I try to find things of common interest to talk about. I ask leading questions that I probably know the answers to already. I just want to get him talking about himself. I give him all of my attention in a noisy room full of people talking and things happening. I’ll admit it …I tried to find him on face book.
The blogger contacted me recently to let me know that the piece had come about in part as a result of the race and ethnicity series I began this summer. That made my day right there. So, stop on by and check it out. If you have a piece that you are working on in a similar direction (or have posted) leave us a comment, and get us over to your blog too!
And because I am getting so good at being on the sidelines of my own blog, I have another guest post coming this week, along the same very important lines–the transracial parenting lines—that I’m very excited to share with you too.