I include the picture above to remind me, and Sam one day if he reads this blog, just how much he will have changed since his first mom last saw him. In the posts leading up to our visit, I’ll continue to include pictures of the first time we met. He was a few weeks old here.
We were looking at a slideshow of the hotel that we are going to be staying in next month when we visit Sam’s birth family when the following conversation happened:
Me: Maybe Tea and the kids would like to come swimming?
Sam: Do they swim as well as I do?
Me: I don’t know. We’ll find out. You’re an amazing swimmer.
Sam: Are they staying at this hotel too?
Me: No. We’re staying there, because it is near where they live. That is why we are going across the country.
Sam: I know. I just thought they’d want to.
Me: If they invite you to spend the night at their house one night that might be fun!
Sam: Would that be safe? I don’t even know them.
Me: You don’t and you do. What I mean is that after spending a few hours jumping around a pool with them, you might find yourself thinking it’s like you’ve known them forever. Tea is your first mom. She loves you-in the way a mom loves you. A very safe way.
Sam: So, I think I’ll call her my Everyday Mom too.
Me: (Pause) No. That’s my name. I’m feeling super clear about that. You will love her everyday in your heart. You can think about her, and talk about her everyday, but that name belongs to me. She asked me to be your everyday mom. She is the only first mom, (or birth mom). I love my role, I love being your second, and your everyday mom.
Sam: So, I have two moms. I really do.
Me: Yes. And I love that I get to be your mom everyday. Is so cool to be clear about who you are sometimes. Is there anything you don’t feel you agree with in my words? Or something you still don’t get?
Sam: I am clear that I have two moms, and that you are not always the easiest mom to live with. Can I please do another experiment now? I won’t destroy anything! ( Insert another post for another day here.)
Me: I don’t doubt it.
Here is the family portrait that I sent out to Tea yesterday! I realized that it might help to prepare everyone in her family for how grown up we look! In the card I sent to her and her kids, and parents, I mentioned how much Sam is looking forward to going swimming in the hotel pool with everyone!
I have raised $500.00 through the blog towards our reunion travel expenses (not including air travel). Mama C readers ROCK IT.
With the money raised so far, I booked two nights at the hotel, and have enough money to fill the gas tank twice! We still have to rent a car for the week, and have money to pay for food along the way! If you like what you are reading, and look forward to learning more about the inner workings of an adoptee/first mother reunion from the (limited) lens of an adoptive mom and hopefully with some insights from others along the way, please consider making a donation here! Thank you!