Meeting Sam’s birth family: seven weeks to go

Going on an adventure with Mom (caption and composition by Marcel) Mama C and the Boys 2011

On the unrealistic to do list:

  • lose 20 pounds, or at least 10
  • schedule the family portrait pictures that I want to bring, and that I know she’ll love, because she always sends us studio portrait shots.
  • hair appointment for me, and line up for Sam before pictures, and possibly right before travel.
  • continue to condition and comb boys hair daily.
  • completely revitalize wardrobe of entire family so that we look presentable, and not like people who live in elastic waistbands
  • decide on absolutely perfect gifts for her kids.
  • buy a camera-this is not going to be about trendy little i-phone shots. Well, not all of them.
  • find books that talk about all sorts of families, and read them over and over so that little brothers and big brothers have language to talk about their feelings as needed.
  • schedule extra therapy appointments.
  • work out all the time, mediate, stop eating sugar and carbs. Become a Zen Master.

On the things I can swing list:

  • reserve the hotel room/rental car/add booster seats to packing list
  • get us each one really spiffy looking outfit, and put aside the things that aren’t thread bare, or stained for the trip
  • breathe a lot of those big deep dizzy making kind
  • repeat this statement: My family rocks, and so do I. We’ll have a good time. This is not about me. It will be just what it needs to be, even if I am ten pounds over weight. Oh right, this is not about me.
  • Talk about this trip in little easy ways often; “I’m so curious what Tea’s kids will sound like in person. Are you? I wonder what kids of things they like to play with.”
  • I don’t need to buy anyone anything, I am getting my family across the country. That woman who left with your baby brother from the hospital–that stranger–she came back and so did he. And she brought his brother! That is enough.
  • Remember the joy in all of this-how fortunate we all are to be on the edge of deepening so many relationships.
  • Maybe make it to church once more before the trip. This  is important to her.
  • Try to get those pictures taken. It will feel great to be able to be able to share those.
  • Believe in all of us. Allow this to be exciting, and scary, and notice that it brings up old feelings attached with waiting to meet her, and him.
  • Give him space to be excited and scared, and notice that it may bring up feelings he has never articulated before.

What? You want more? I’ll try to give you a weekly update on the head and home front around this trip. I’ve just scratched the surface here. I’m writing a few pieces for a couple of magazines at the moment, so plopping out a big ole list is very satisfying. 

HELP! My fundraising goal has come to a dramatic standstill! If you’re enjoying this writing, the opportunity to share in this journey with us, or just find that this blog is regular source of chin tugging reflection, ease, entertainment and somewhat useful too–won’t you please consider a small donation towards our cross country expedition? I set myself a goal of raising $1000 of the almost $3000 cross country adventure here. I’m asking my Mama C readers to help me with the hotel and rental car. Just imagine yourself in that mini van with the family, chugging along car dancing to a car stereo that actually works! Thank you-thank you thank you. Every $5.00 helps. Truly.  A FULL SHEET of these groovy stickers available for any contribution of $10.00 or more.

Always open and appreciative of supportive, encouraging thoughts about our epic (that’s for you Pete) journey.

Oh and how could I forget–Mama C and the Boys is back on Facebook too. (I took a nine month hiatus, and will write about that choice, and the choice to come back, when I receive a $20,000 annonymous donation so that I can hire a part time assistant/cook/laundry enthusiast/activity planner/line up liner, and grocery shopper.) So please feel free to come on by, and put a mug to the name!


  1. So glad to see you back on Facebook! And I mean that literally. Love the little characters in the picture, a perfect image of what you all have to look forward to. Look for my donation within the next couple of weeks!

  2. Forget the lists, Darling! You are ready, just as you are, for this journey. The boys are great, and you are one of the world’s best people. (I, for one, smile whenever I think of you!) They wilil just adore you three, so DON’T WORRY. (But it would be a good idea to make those photos, and to meditate, just to keep yourself centered.) We want a blow by blow when you get back, of course, and HAVE FUN!!!

    • I love love love you. Yes, Indeed we are all set. It is just so hard to remember at times. And then because of comments like these I stand tall and realize–we are ENOUGH and then some. Thank you Mama!

  3. Well, we are headed in a little over a week to see Jackson’s first mom for the first time since he was 4 months old. Yep, my nerves are showing their ugly face. What will I wear? What will HE wear? What if he’s tired from the trip and grumpy? What if he won’t let her hold him?! Yikes! So, I guess what I am saying is…I get it. But, in the end, you are enough…and so are we. Because we love each other and we love HIM more than words can express. And that shows in everything we do – and in everything you do with Sam. So, all will be well! Breathe!

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