And then you remember why you stay in Maine

For the lupine in your garden/Mama C and the Boys
and the friends you adore/Mama C and the Boys
For the light on the water/ Mama C and the Boys
and the islands that are yours/ Mama C and the Boys
For the room to take up all the space that you need/ Mama C and the Boys
and all the ways you are loved/ Mama C and the Boys
For the wisdom and beauty that is you, mirrored in the majesty around you./ Mama C and the Boys


Recently a discussion with an incredibly dear friend about why her and her TRA family left Maine had that cannon ball-crashing-in-the-middle-of-my-chaotically-pristine-lake effect on my parenting heart. Then a car crashed into my house. Then magical yesterday kept becoming more and more magical.

Each picture and line in this  post is about all of that, and none of that.  More on the sometimes daily, monthly, and yearly choice to stay in Maine to come. It is a balancing act, consumed with questions of race and place.  It is not something I could ignore, ever. In choosing to stay, like many other multi-racial families we know here, we are trying to co create a world infused with color, and to mine every possible opportunity for racially varied friendships, and world view shaping experiences.

Is that enough for my family? Today? In ten years? That is what I/we wonder and wonder over and over again. But, that is another post. And another. And then another. For as long as we are calling Maine home. A post has been brewing in me, and as soon as this school year closes, I will feel much more able to tackle that in the way that I want to. Like her, I think about race all the time. Like many of the readers here, we think about race all the time. Is it enough? Yesterday I was very at peace with the life we have here. Yesterday.

In the meantime, so that the rest of the world can continue to enjoy my mad skills with an i-phone, my wildly photogenic offspring, and maple syrupy caption poetry please vote for this blog by clicking here now. THANK YOU.

Once a day. Please. What are you waiting for? Five seconds. That’s all. Five seconds will keep us on the top 25. We’ve lost a little ground in this techno-popularity contest. Show ’em what their Mama C fan base is made of!


  1. Ok, now I wanna live in Maine, lol. The beauty is breath taking, and speaking of breath, I know that is clean air you have there, lol. Maybe the transracial families should stay and the monoracial families should come too 🙂 I think the “right” answer will come in time.

  2. Nice pictures! They really romanticize Maine. Nevertheless, you have some tough complex factors to consider in relocating or staying. Maine seems to work for your guys right now. But if you do decide to relocate let’s hope it’s to the National Capitol Area! We miss you! 🙂

    Also, I vote for you everyday! Twice! (cell&PC!) 🙂

    • OK it is romanticized. But the thing is Pete, it is like this here too. Not everyday. But many days. And it is not like this, like when cars crash into your house, and drug dealers are hauled into the paddywagon in front of your house, and, and, and… But the balance? Is there such a thing as balance. I can’t wait for you to spend more time with US (VACATION LAND USA) and tell me what you think about what we have going on here. I’d love your take on the big picture…

  3. Hi Mama, I feel you. I struggle with thoughts of what is right for our family and our gorgeous little chocolate drop of a boy. We just moved this past winter to a new place in SF which is in a great location in relation to things we like to do and close enough to our old hood to still enjoy a trip to the burbs. I miss the quiet, I miss the beautiful peaceful redwoods but I don’t miss the over the top gushiness of the curious pale folk. Diversity is a hard thing to find unless you are willing to sacrifice other things unfortunately, or is it? I’m still trying to find that balance.

  4. Thanks for sharing this. I’ll watch for more of your thoughts about the issue of place and raising a transracial family. I think about our choice to live in Ohio all the time. It gives us many of the things we want–I can be a stay-at-home parent, we take advantage of access to nature every day we can. Things that are very positive for our kid, but I’m always on the lookout for signs that the trade off (of not living in a more diverse community) might not be worth it.
    – Josh @

    (For some reason, WordPress is not letting me sign in on my WP account to leave this comment.)

  5. I struggle with the opposite side of this coin – there are plenty of less expensive places than Boston for me to attempt single parenting, where I could afford a backyard and a bigger house, and would maybe have access to more green space…but is it worth giving up the Haitian family who live next door? The African American man who lives downstairs? All the people of color we see on a daily basis, the cops and firefighters and store clerks and dental assistants and everyone else just going about their lives? I think about this all the time, and wonder if it’s just a case of the grass always being greener…

    • Liz, I think you and I need to visit with each other, and then we’ll both know that we have sweet access to the “other” way of doing it, and probably super appreciate what we’ve got. I long for all that you speak of, and know that we have a lot of it too, just have to work much harder to find it.

  6. Hello my dear. Looks like you and I are not the only ones wrapped up in the emotions of this conversation. Thanks for creating this conversation. It looks like a lot of folks are ready to talk about it. Here’s to continued listening.

    • Indeed, indeed. I have tried five times to write a response to your most recent post and haven’t been able to capture it all yet. Amazing work you are doing. We are doing. We are all doing.

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