An oldest friend since like, forever!

Pizza night prior to teeth/ Mama C and the Boys

When they were about six weeks old, was when they met for the first time.  It was a new mommy’s support group. There were four moms, and four kids. Three of them were creamy colored girls. One of them was a gigantic brown skinned boy.  One of those girls fell over a lot near him. He rolled over eventually and smiled. They drooled at each other. They grabbed things from each other. They screeched a lot.

Their mommies found an ease in the shared newness too.  A whole lot of friendships were born. Life events happened. She came to his finalization in her very best frock.

Finalization 2005/Mama C and the Boys

Firsts were gathered up and shared like pebbles on the shore: solids, words, steps and entire nights in their very own beds.  The sight of the other always a homecoming to joy.  For the longest time she said his name with an “H” in the middle; Shammeeeee! He could eat the sand from beneath her feet.

They continued to scream at each other a lot. Months turned into years. She called herself an artist. He called himself an athlete. They grew. Their families had dinner a few weeks before kindergarten began, and looked to each other for ease in all this new.

They both started kindergarten, they lost their first teeth, and compared notes on the tooth fairy’s haul. They loved their teachers. They made new friends. Suddenly just over the bridge seemed farther away.

Then she came to his practice to watch him knock a ball out of the park, and screamed his name when he did. He was so proud and excited to have her there he didn’t know which way to run.

After  practice they sat down at their own table, and he said; “So what’ll we have?” She answered with a smile.

They’ve known each other their entire lives, and when your 6.5, that is a very long time.

Our own table/ Mama C and the Boys

My oldest friend, I met when I was exactly Sammy’s age. We met on a soccer field. You? How long have you known your oldest friend? How did it start? With the school year ending, we’re talking a lot about how we continue with our old and new friends over the summer. We’re also noticing how great it is, to have friends, like this one, who really, really, really know us!


  1. I met my oldest friend in preschool when we were two. She was the maid of honor at my wedding and was a treasured guest at our 25th anniversary party. We don’t live close enough to be day-to-day friends, but when my father died she was the first person I called and the first one who came to be with us at my mother’s.

    Eve has a friend she met in day care at two, and she is deeply attached to the son of one my closest friends. She met him when he was a newborn and Eve was six weeks old – we have a picture of her reaching out to touch him, and I think we’ll show that at her bat mitzvah and his bar mitzvah.

  2. What a great post and what a great question.

    Because of a move when I was ready to start high school (and because of some of the things that were terrible, terrible about jr. high) I lost really all– my old grade school friends. And high school wasn’t so much better. But I have my friend Lauren– who I met in line to register at college when we were 18 and who still feels like a place I can just relax and be myself– and my friend Esther and my friends Laurie and Marcy and my friend Debbie– we were in our early 20s when we met– but Debbie and I have managed to live near each other all these years– and amazingly she– after a long fertility process and I after a long adoption process– by some kind of fate, have a son and daughter who are three weeks and one day apart in age. How’s that for staying close? And then of course there is my sister Judy– who I have known since she was born– and who is a sister/best friend par excellence.

    So much to say on this topic vis a vis my daughter, but I love that you are opening up the question and talking about it for yourself, your sons and in your school.


  3. Love this post also. My oldest friends are from when I was 11. Starting the equivalent of middle school, but in the UK. We’re separated by 6000 miles, and only in sporadic contact, but when we see each other, yes it is so easy.

  4. That is so special and so precious! What a sweet little pair. I grew up with my oldest friend. We were next door neighbors, and when we were no longer next door to each other, we’d both walks blocks and blocks to each others neighborhoods to spend time together. We even had our babies months apart.

  5. Hi Mommies,
    I loved seeing these precious children and recalling through tears some of these wonderful moments as I visited Maine. You are blessed to have such treasures in your lives and I know you feel that way too. Hold tight to all the memories because the years have a way of making them fade. I admire you as you walk this journey here on earth and endeavor to give to the world your amazing children in all theri uniqueness and wonder. Always take time to watch and enjoy their wonderful lives with the world around them. They have so much to teach. Wow. I did get a little wordy. Forgive me but through tears of joy I watched these photos and rejoiced.

    Grandma Borg.

  6. This is so cute! I met my oldest friend in kindergarten. We ended up at the same school in our hometown of Queens, NY and it just so happened our parents worked together! She was my first best friend. I remember we had a spelling bee and we were the two finalists. We ultimately tied but we were sooo worried the competition would mess up our friendship lol. We actually cried when they said we tied! In the fourth grade, my mom moved me to a new Catholic school in another neighborhood and we lost touch. Our parents remained in contact for years through work but we rarely saw each other. We stayed updated through them – graduations, marriage, etc. I moved to MD with my husband in 2009 for work. My mother casually mentioned that my old friend lived in MD with her husband and I should look her up. I did and not only was she living in MD – she was living less than 30 minutes away AND she worked for the same company I work for! We got together clicked like no time had passed and our husbands did too! We bonded over being NYC transplants to suburbia. She is expecting her first son in October and we are so excited that our sons will be close.

  7. ok– I’m verbose, what can I say? But I just have to say a few words– about daughter and not me. Oh and about you. First of all, I always think photos of you on the blog are totally gorgeous, but there is that special gorgeous in the photo of you at the adoption finalization– looking on at your new community of small beloved young people! I love that photo!!

    My daughter has a best friend who she met in the park. L– adopted from Vietnam was about 18 months old and N– my girl was about 22 months old. This was a case of they found each other and loved each other. The moms didn’t know each other, we didn’t stand around talking– nothing– but they would find each other and trail each other and stick together for hours– and then of course eventually the three moms in our two families did strike up some conversations. Now our two families– theirs with two girls and one mom– ours with two moms and one girl– are best of friends. But the two young people really chose each other. They go to different schools, but the closeness has stayed.

  8. Loving all these complements Mama! I did manage to find some decent photos of me this time 🙂 And what a great reflection on how your young ones found each other!

Leave a Reply