It’s just after 6:00 am
Marcel will wake in about 15 minutes.
If I want more than this precious 1/4 hour alone, I wake at 5:00.
With laundry to sort, and a list as long as my left arm of things to do,
and more to remember to write down
I passed out last night next to Cellie.
He asked me to rub his back one more time
because he just needed to know [I] was his mommy.
As lines go, that one pretty much anchored me next to him for eternity.

It’s just after 6:00 am and a few moments alone are gold doubloons in this single mama’s hands.
Meditate first or garden?
Garden or blog?
Blog or respond to long list of emails that require thoughtful attention?
Respond to emails or deal with bills and things?

The moment he wakes, my blood sugar management child requires full on attention.
(Good morning baby. Eat this)
He told me the other night
tears streaming down his face at 3:13am-
when I insisted he either crawl in next to Sammy,
or go back to his own bed
because no I would not move into the middle of my own bed between
two kicking, snoring, arm flinging boys
that I needed to be more patient with him because he is just so different!
Yes, those were his words.

He’s up.
Here’s us this moment.

Blackberries, yogurt and his newest passion: Where’s Waldo the Ultimate Travel Collection
will allow me a few more minutes of less full on divided attention.

Instant or French press coffee?

Farmers market run with Marcel before Sammy wakes (if Uncle’s on board to come down
and sip his coffee while my Sammy Sosa the Second snores on)
or stay in for the next hour
before the swim lesson and the baseball game

(one ends at 9:00, when the other begins across town.
No I haven’t figured that out yet.
Swimming in his uniform was ruled out as a strategy last night.
I’d be happy to let it go.
But Cullen Jones Jr. says he wants to show his teacher he can swim a whole lap.)

If you blog long enough you can rule out things like
go to Farmer’s Market before the baseball game.

There are a lot of balls up in the air over here.
Summer camps or Mama camps?
Home improvement lists that reprioritize themselves when I’m sleeping,
and the final paperwork on the new homeowner’s loan.
Self publish, or finish a proposal.
Pursue the masters in literacy for professional reasons
or creative writing for personal reasons
or something else that might meet both needs?
I am spending way too much time worrying the best choice.

I started therapy again.
More like life coaching with emotional support.
More like paying someone to listen,
so that when I see my friends, I can listen to them too.

Just for effect here, Marcel is sharing some drumming with me.
(I figured out how to include a sound byte!! On the places this could go!)
Marcel’s morning sound effects.

Sammy woke up and
opted for his own version of the photo shoot.

I HATE the lower left. He and Marcel love the “heart shaped face”.

Then the computer froze.
Marcel suggested I throw it out and get a new one.
He just put his shin pads on, readying himself for Sam’s baseball game.

Swim lesson is now 23 minutes away.
Pushing publish, the rough cut.