This month I am devoting Tuesday’s post to trouble. Things that give me, or someone in the Mama C collective (family, friends, our safety net) trouble. It is not meant to bring trouble energetically towards us, but to let it go, move through it.
SO why these photos with this topic? Besides the obvious–that Sam looks like he is having some hard feelings-it is about how much trouble I have with photos, moments like these.
Imagine if once a year instead of holiday cards we all sent Trouble Cards? Pictures of all of us pouting, in a funk, distant, troubled. Being our full selves.
So often I write stories in my head about Sam’s troubles.
Truth is, as he gets older, I will know less and less.
At the time we were at a friend’s house for breakfast. Their kids are both Black, related to each other, and adopted. They look alike, as biological siblings can. They have a mom and a dad. They have a supersonic video game thing on the television. Was any of this on Sam’s mind? Or was it just time for some quiet?
I have trouble letting him just be Sam-my son who can be a million miles away. Sam my son, who is not distant from me because we are not genetically related, but because he is Sam in this life. Remarkable, beautiful, energetic, loving, smart, athletic Sam who, at this moment may or may not be having a hard time.
My job is to let it happen, help him manage it, talk about it, or maybe just let him be?
My job is to model that I recover from my troubles in a healthy way, most of the time. My job is to allow myself to hold a hard time in one hand, and the understanding that it will pass in the other
What is your strategy around your kids and their troubles? Their big feelings? What can you share?
Note on the postaday process: It is actually incredibly helpful for me to devote a day to this. I have a notebook I keep on m desk, and I jot notes down for what I might post about on the days I’ve established. It is helping the blog write itself. And as I take pictures, I begin to see where they might land, or have in mind a picture I need for a post.