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She said what? (A first mom exchange)

December 24, 2010

Sam’s first mom called me a dork.
Those were her exact words.
How cool is that?

This happened during an exchange
about his birthday presents
which arrived yesterday.
We picked the box up at the post office.

Sam kissed it over and over in the car ride home.
She always spoils me he said.

Did he really say that? she asked later.

The best part of the package was the card.
In it was a special message to Sam from his siblings too.
Every word savored, handwriting studied.
The drawing with the crayon layered hearts
folded up in the envelope was gold leaf in the lining.

The dork part?
When I was explaining how important it was for Sam
to see one sibling’s words in particular.
How much I appreciated her getting that greeting too.

You’re a dork LOL.

Immediately I responded;
Don’t worry my dorkiness doesn’t seem to be rubbing off on Sam.

No, she said, he’s a smart ass like me.

We shared a text message laugh.

Monumental considering the deeper context concerned.
Monumental considering that we both showed up as US in the exchange.
Something I’ve spent 6 years learning how to do.

I tried for so long to be the perfect adoptive mother in her eyes.
Now I’m just me.

And try as I might, not all of that is rubbing off on Sam.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. December 24, 2010 3:15 pm

    Even though we don’t have the privilege of contact with my daughter’s first mother, we do have a brother– adopted into another family — in our lives (long story– we only found out about a year and a half ago)– and many things about this poem ring so true. Love to all of you xox Laura

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