This is baby Milo. He is the son of dear new friends of ours. Like Sammy he is an adoptee, transracially. There is a bond between these two that is palpable. They radiate joy in each other’s presence. Sammy’s smile, the one he uses to engage Milo, and the one that seeps across his face when he makes Milo happy, is a smile reserved just for this special little love in his life. Sammy has commented on the fact that Milo’s skin is “exactly my color.” I believe Sammy sees himself in Milo in profound and unconscious ways that feed his heart. Or maybe that is just my projecting on what is simply a gentle young boy’s love for this sweet little being.
I wonder if in some ways, Milo isn’t the little brother Sammy thought Marcel was going to look like. Sam has often asks me why Marcel can’t be browner then he is. He doesn’t like being the “only brown kid in the house” sometimes.
I cherish Milo and his family in our lives in more ways then I can elaborate on here now. I am quickly losing credibility in the wordless department, and I have another blind date in thirty minutes across town. Time to put on my shimmer and dazzle!
I love this and your description of Sam’s relationship with Milo. I personally do not believe you are reading into it in your speculation of what is there in Sam’s connection with Milo. My own daughter has a best friend– different set of similarities than Sam’s and Milo’s– but similar in certain ways. They chose each other in our neighborhood park when they were both under two. The adults didn’t know one another, and neither did the two girls– but they were both brown-skinned, both adopted, both from non-traditional families. When we would go to the park they would find each other again and again until our families became friends. Just as you and I find, in a crowd, the person who is just our age, or the person who is also a single mom or lesbian mom, or grew up near our hometown– they too know how to pick out someone who is “home” to them in some particular way and those relationships are so sweet and good. I’m glad he has the actual home and mom and brother he has, and I’m glad he has Milo and will have many others that he loves and connects to.
Beautifully said Laura–home to them in some particular way-and thanks for the validating story!
Everything about this is absolutely beautiful. It seems that with each challenge that Sam may have with his identity, comes a loving resolve. I remember the first time my daughter started noticing complexions. Her famous names for dark and light skin are brown and peach. I was amazed that my child did not view the world in black and white, but in color =). I think the same is beginning to happen for Sam. Just as my daughter pointed out that she and I were both brown, holding her arm to mine, Sam is collecting the building blocks, seeing himself with a fresh pair of eyes.
Yes Barbara–I like that–his “fresh eyes” and his building blocks! Thank you.
Amazing. He’ll be a mentor to this little guy.