Adopted, the film by Barb Lee, see it.
I organized a viewing of this film, in the school library this evening.
Twelve families from the adoption community here that I am connected with were represented.
All of us have adopted transracially.
Although none of us had adopted from Korea, or China, where the two featured adopted children were born, (one now in her thirties, the other nearing two) it spoke to everyone of us in deep and gut crushing ways. When I turned on the lights at the end, there was not a peep in the room, and most all the eyes in the place were blurry and red.
What ensued was a conversation where strangers and acquaintances and friends alike shared their awe, their grief, their worries, the work they see before them.
Jennifer, the thirty-two year old Korean woman, living in New Hampshire says to her now dieing mother; (I am summarizing here) “But if you would just see me for who I am, a Korean woman, a woman of color, who came from another mother you would have more of me, not less of me as your daughter.” That line split through my head. It was such a powerful reminder of what I am doing well with Sam, and how much more I have to do, throughout his life. Her trauma, as she puts it, manifests itself in horribly destructive ways. The opportunity that I have to help Sammy not suffer like that could not have been more poignantly stated.
There was nothing easy about this film. There shouldn’t be. This is hard work. As our children’s parents, family, extended family, teachers, and caregivers of all callings we are up for it. We have no choice.
Huge gratitude to those who attended tonight. The support, and connection we established in three hours together was palpable.