A poem that I wrote while waiting for Sammy to come into my life.

This is where you’ll find me*

This is where you’ll find me
whenever I stop
wiping the counter and
folding the clothes or
mapping out the rest of the week
in yet another to do list, today.
And this is where you’ll find me
when the papers are graded,
the dog hair swept up,
and the bills to be avoided just stay put-
so I can sit in the rocker and hold

you

in my imagination. Pushing off into next
month? Next year? When?
When will I find you here
in my arms-
wriggling, wiggling, drooling, crying, giggling, cooing,
and wondering just how
you arrived here
with me from wherever you may be now
in your birth mother’s belly

listening to her muffled laughing or
singing or crying into you her hopes
for the little miraculous one you will grow up to be
away from her. Outside of that
unfathomable moment when you

arrive here

where I’m waiting
for you unfolding the baby clothes I’ve collected
in between the dreams I’ve collected,
and the future I’ve coveted
watching you crawl
then walk,
then run into this,
our room, our house calling “Mom”
always knowing that this is where you’ll find me.

Copyright 2004 All Rights Reserved C. Anderson

*Originally published in 2004 in Single Mother’s By Choice Quarterly. My first published poem. Recently a friend came across this poem, my poem,  in the literature provided at an all day “Adoption Triad” education class for adoptive parents to be. It seemed like it might be a good idea to publish it here, so that future seekers could find it’s original home.