Tic Tac Marcel (and a rare Mama C video moment too)
This gets really funny at about thirty seconds in. This is a testament to way too much time inside. Marcel had an intense one day 104 degree temp-sleep all day-please wake up and sip something flu (yesterday). But by today it became wildly evident that it was time to get everyone back to school real soon! I can only handle losing so many games of tic tac toe after all. Legit! He is really good!
I’ve been trying to find the words, the time, and the emotional space to write about the shattering and remarkable show I saw last week. It was a one woman performance of Dr. Melba Beals Pattilo’s memoir Warriors Don’t Cry. I was invited to chaperone a group of students who have been immersed in a Civil Rights expedition for months to the event. The timing of this performance coming here to their work could not have been better. Many of the students had read the memoir, others had read excerpts. I was in the latter category myself. But like them I felt semi prepared for the content. Of course I knew it was going to be rough.
Hours after the performance I was alone in my classroom, with my eyes puffed out, crying again.
I felt completely worn out, and wildly alone.
I felt like I was coming undone. Read more…
Peaceful Wednesday
Winter peace/ Mama C and the Boys 2012
Three things that bring me peace today:
1. How well Sammy seems to have adjusted to his new school. While he misses his friends and his teacher deeply, he reports that he is “doing great”. He is making new friends, loves his new teacher too, and just seems to exude self confidence and ease with himself and his world.
2. Meditating daily (for twenty minutes).
3. Accepting all the love in my life.
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What’s bringing you peace today? What are you doing to take care of you in a gentle way?
Getting all clever in time for Valentine’s Day
It’s still three weeks away. But at least over here, when it comes to tackling the holiday of love with ease and intention–major planning is involved. I’m talking about Valentines Day, and elementary school. I know that many don’t participate in the holiday–and I certainly respect their choice, and reasons why. I have mixed feelings about it, but have decided to go about it this way until the kids can make their own choice about how to approach it. So to that end, we always make our own cards, and use the holiday to focus on something we appreciate about the recipient. Read more…
Wordless Wednesday: Domino and Buzz
getting the pieces ready
after the buzz down
Feeling it (singing and spitting included)
We had one of the nicest days yesterday. Our sitter invited us to her church to hear her and her three brothers play in the chorus/band. Her church is maybe 65% Rwandan (where she is from) and 25% neighborhood Mainers and then the rest of the folk. The minister is Hispanic. The chorus is all high school and college age Rwandan boys belting out their joy, along with two young women. My sitter’s father is the co-preacher–who misinters in his language-Kinyarwanda. The other minister has his sermon translated into Kinyarwanda by one of the young men. The songs were in English and Spanish. We felt totally welcomed and not judged. We blended in with so much ease. There were several Black families there, who I imagine would identify as African American. Many of them had at least one white family member. After the service the boys gravitated towards my boys, and invited them up to jam. Today we talked about our experience there in terms of Dr. King’s legacy of peace and brotherhood.
Then today I went to one of those indoor adventure places–and watched my children unravel completely when I refused to let them do the bumper cars a second time (for another five minutes for $10.00!). It is so ridiculously hard to say no and stick to it when your children are screaming, crying and spitting at you. It is so hard to not cave in when they wedge themselves between climbing walls and exterior doors and scream that you are the worst mother ever. Of course that is when you absolutely can’t give in. But now, we’re home, and exhausted, but at least we know we put our lack of money where our mouth is, and that we can have lots of fun for free right here. Puzzle anyone?
Speaking of money. I have decided to resurrect my paypal button, in honor of all the free and great work I am doing around my “I can talk about race (in the classroom)” workshop. Maybe the school systems can’t pay me, but I believe there is a wealthy benefactor out there who is going to believe that this work is worthy of support. Or you can just make a contribution because you love this blog, and know you’d pay $5.00 for it once a month if you had to. Or save your money and go ride the bumper cars at your mall for five minutes, and spit at your mother afterwords for free! Kidding.
Love winter style (a relationship post from Mama C?)
Sam's snow pants with heart shaped duct taped patches.
There is a whole lot of wintery love happening over in Mama C ville. We love snow days. We love pancakes with lots of maple syrup. We love making music. We love each other. We’re in a sweet place. It’s moments like these in all their rare splendor that I am most inclined to ask–so what is working? What am I doing differently? Or more of? Or less of? How do I keep it going?
I owe a lot of this moment to an interaction I had recently with my dear friend Samantha that helped me to have a rather significant breakthrough in my relational life: Being critical is so easy. Loving someone with an open heart-in spite of them being human, full of faults & so imperfect for us-that is the real work of life. The real opening and realization of mature love. Not easy. So worth it. And the true nature in all of us.
For any number of reasons that quote allowed me to experience this dramatic shift in my relational practice recently. It is practice isn’t it? Periods of gentle ease and balance were almost always being followed by extreme periods dominated by a hyper critical voice that kept going into dissect mode. Nothing was good enough for me, the apparent Queen of the World. Once in this mode, it is VERY hard for me to interrupt it on my own. The way the other person tilts their head can send me. Yes, it’s that bad.
This is a practice I don’t fall into with my friends. Why is it my fall back in relationship I wonder. (No, I am not asking for analysis here. My therapist is paid for that thanks.) I am just doing what I do best–sharing with you the process. Somehow that little quote gave me permission to step WAY BACK and STOP. To believe in the divine kindness and caring in front of me, and embrace it, tilted head and all. Talk about a shift.
Another ah-ha for me was the extent that I am also hyper critical with my kids in certain scenarios-like when I think their behavior is somehow a reflection of me? Maybe I’m reaching here–but when I just look at their behavior as a reflection of who they are–I find I have 50,000 times more patience. She also reminded me how true this is about how we are with ourselves. That seems like another blog post entirely!
Did you like how I just jumped right over the relationship paragraph and went right back into parenting? Slick huh? Is Mama C dating? How long has that been going on? Who? What about the kids? How does that all factor in? All great questions, that I have no intention of addressing here at this time. (Was the emphasis on the here, or the at this time in that sentence?) Stay tuned. That’s all I choose to say right now. OK, I will tell you that I did not have to dig my car out of the driveway the other morning, and my kids were off tubing so that I could have uninterrupted time to write this post, and then go run some errands and work out. Beginning to see why some of you partnered folks seem to have a little more time on your hands to blog on occasion?
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My workshop-I can talk about race (in the classroom)-was postponed until next month–due to snow. I was so disappointed. But apparently the universe wanted more time to get the word out on this one? As if 75 folks wasn’t enough! I was feeling so pumped up and ready for it too. (That’ll teach me to be on top of things! ) Then last night, I was contacted by a national organization, and asked if I would present the workshop in March to members in Maine. Apparently word travels fast. I woke up this morning thinking it might be time to begin a new blog. One devoted to my professional work on it’s own?
I can talk about race (in the classroom)
Barbie Basics-My Muse for tomorrow
About halfway through my presentation called; “I can see race (in the classroom)” tomorrow I am going to hold up this Black Barbie, still in her box. I plan to ask the 50-75 teachers in the audience to tell me what message they think it would convey to their Black (and all) students if they had grown up playing with her along with the more common blonde and white version. (No, we are not talking about gender, or the messed up proportions that the Barbie exhibits….this time.) I am going to introduce this doll by telling them what one of my Black students said when I told her I bought it for my kids. She looked so confused. I explained that I wanted to get her because she was so beautiful. What message do you think they took in when I chose this one over the other versions on the shelf? Read more…
Thankful on this Friday
1. Sam had nothing but great things to say about his new school all week. His teacher reports that he is fitting right in. His favorite thing about it? “All the friends I have already.” Read more…
